Weird title, right? Keep reading and you will find out why I say this.
I'll make it personal and talk about my past relationship because from that came a lot of pain, probably the most pain I have experienced. Now, I'm not saying any of this to explain or prove anything but more so to be a light because I know there's others experiencing this right now. While being in that relationship I've experienced a great amount of hurt and pain then when the relationship ended I felt like I lost everything, it was hard to grieve the loss of my relationship with someone I saw my life with, someone I loved SO hard. I went through all of the emotions that you could possibly think of; I ruined myself and made myself miserable by picking up terrible habits (drinking, going out, checking on him, disconnecting from God, etc). I remember when I found out that he was in a relationship not even a year after our breakup and I was devastated, I spent a lot of time wondering and questioning just about everything. I remember one specific question I would constantly ask myself "how come I couldn't find someone to be with and he was able to do that?" -- I got so stuck in making my healing process about him and it wasn't at all. I lost all of my confidence in who I was and what I truly had to offer but once I took that power back it was over. I knew in my heart that if I truly wanted to be with someone I could but that wasn't the route I wanted to go because I knew I wasn't in a position to give myself to someone in such a way just yet. The true healing process started when I fasted for 21 days, it was just me and God. I had to pray through all of that. It didn't happen over night but today I am able to say so loudly and proudly THANK YOU FOR THE EXPERIENCE.
This is what the work is about (that inside work).
Healing. Forgiveness. Love. Openness. Truth. Peace.
Getting ourselves to a point where life feels so amazing that we want to laugh and cry at the same time (something I've found myself doing lately). Where we look at the people and experiences that nearly broke us and give a genuine, full body and heart felt thank you. Where we feel an intense, overwhelming sense of gratitude.
As I settle further into myself and my truth, open my heart more fully to others, and step more deeply into the work I'm here to do, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for every. single. thing. I've been through in this life (the bad especially)
I wouldn't be able to love so fully, deeply, and passionately had I not experienced the losses I've experienced. I wouldn't be able to smile so big, laugh so hard, and feel so absolutely in love with life had I not been cut so deeply over the years. I wouldn't be able to appreciate the business I've built and the work I get to do had I not struggled so hard to get things off the ground. Had I not failed miserably more times than I can count. I wouldn't be so fully and completely myself, and comfortable in who that is, had I not gotten so disconnected in the first place.
Let me shed a little light on you right now and tell you why you should thank those who hurt you the most:
1.) The people who were able to hurt you most were also the people who you were able to love the most. For someone to have that much importance in your life is sacred. I was able to love him in such a way that I know he will feel forever.
2.) Difficult relationships often push you to change your behavior for the better. In feeling helpless, you learn to take care of yourself. In feeling used, you recognize your worth. In being abused, you develop compassion. In feeling like you’re stuck, you realize there is always a choice. In accepting what was done to you, you realize that nobody has control at the end of the day, but in surrendering the need for something we’ll never have, we can find peace, which is what we were actually seeking in the first place.
3.) What you learn from being hurt is way more important than how you temporarily feel. If you can just step away to see the bigger picture you will then realize it is all temporary, it's all teaching you a valuable lesson.
4.) The ones who cannot love us back are those that remind us that we are worthy of love. They show us all the insecure parts of ourselves that we must embrace. The ones that give us the most pain are here to shine the light on everything that is holding us back. The ones that make us suffer the most come into our lives to enlighten us about letting go of what does not serve our higher purpose.
When the pain is real, we have to be intentional about pressing in and finding His purpose in it. I'm at a point where if I experience pain I don't run from it, I allow myself to go through it and feel everything because I know I'll be in an even better place because of it. I encourage you to do the inside work, keep learning, keep experiencing and keep loving yourself. And for those who hurt you truly thank them for bringing you closer to yourself, and bringing you back to God.