If you've been following me for some time you would know that I initially started my blog as an outlet to help cope with postpartum depression (PPD) with my daughter about 4 years ago. I just want to shine some light, love, and information on it because it's so different for me this time around being pregnant with my second child.
After being diagnosed with anxiety and depression years back I had to pay close attention to those triggers and especially now more than ever now that I am pregnant. Automatically I'm trying to prepare myself to go through those motions again once I have my baby boy but only this time I am more aware and alert. I feel like I was completely robbed of the first few moments with my daughter and it sucked so bad, I look back and wish I would've noticed the signs a lot sooner before labor. One thing that really helps me feel better is acknowledging when I am having those low moments or when I can feel myself sinking into a dark place. I will either tell a loved one of mine (usually someone who is familiar with me being in this type of space), say it out loud, or say it a million times to God in my prayers. Just really making myself aware of how I feel; trying to find balance in allowing myself to feel everything that I need to but also not trying to let myself fall into that dark hole that's extremely hard to get out of. Once I acknowledge where I'm at I then can focus on things that lift me up, I pour all of my energy and efforts into getting my self back up whether that's praying, writing, going shopping, or spending a day binge watching my favorite show.
It's very possible to be depressed during pregnancy because I was recently there in my first trimester and it was traumatizing. For me I felt like I was never doing enough or I could never just keep up with daily life (laundry, cooking, cleaning, work, etc). I felt like I was always in crisis mode trying to catch up with everything that was going on around me, trying to catch up with my changing body, and then my mind is a whole battle on its own. I wish I could explain how much it takes for me to load and unload the dishwasher, how achy my body gets when I'm in the laundry room switching clothes and carrying the baskets back and forth to the room, or how my back wants to give out from sweeping and mopping, OR how winded I get from stepping up and down to put the clothes away. I never went through these problems with my first pregnancy so it's honestly new for me too. It's one of things that can't really be explained because trust me I try to but to understand you have to just go through it. I also wanted to say that it is okay to feel down and to not feel bad about it because life on it's own is already so much and then imagine how much you're going through while there's a growing human inside of you. It's literally everything stacked right on top of each other and you're just trying to stay afloat so I get it. I want you to know that you are not on this journey by yourself. I want to reassure you that you're not crazy and how you feel is valid. I encourage you to take a brochure from your clinic visits or just read about it online, there's no harm in information.
If you are not familiar with depression during pregnancy and don't really know what it looks like I am going to list some things down below
What are the risk factors for depression during pregnancy?
- life stress
- history of depression
- poor social support
- unintended pregnancy
- intimate partner abuse (mental OR physical)
***Some research suggests that depressive episodes occur more frequently during the first and third trimesters.***
Why is treatment for depression during pregnancy important?
If you have untreated depression, you might not seek optimal prenatal care, eat the healthy foods your baby needs or have the energy to care for yourself. You are also at increased risk of postpartum depression and having difficulty bonding with your baby.
I just want to close this blog post by letting the pregnant mama's out there know that they're not alone and there's honestly so many of us who have and who is experiencing this. It's so important to seek help, to have the right support, and to acknowledge what we're experiencing. You are not alone.
Keep pushing forward every single day.